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Lessons in Motherhood

1/29/2018

 
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Megan here. My oldest baby turns five tomorrow.

Five.

I am stunned and perplexed as to how this happened so quickly. Everyone told me it would, and I literally spent days staring at my child when she was a newborn, begging her not to change and grow quite so fast. I cried every time I put away each size of clothing. I took about a billion pictures (and a lot of videos), and I even made Shutterfly books every four months during her infancy. That's THREE BOOKS BY THE TIME SHE TURNED ONE. Ridiculous. I even kept a private blog detailing every developmental step, every funny word said. I didn't want to forget a thing. In case you can't tell by now, I'm a sentimental sap who adores babies...especially my own babies.

Despite all of my attempts to savor her babyness...she still grew up too fast. Some days I feel like I missed it all and can hardly remember the details of her as a sassy threenager or what she smelled like as a sweet nursling. I love who she is today and the young girl she is becoming, and yet I can't help but wish I could rewind the clock and hold her for the first time again and again.

I bet you can relate, too.

You see, motherhood is transformative. Not only do we watch a little newborn evolve into a walking, talking person with an independent soul, but we also are transformed into new people along with them. When I think of the past five years, I can't help but reminisce on how much having a child has changed me and altered the course of my life permanently. 

When I was thirty-seven weeks pregnant with my first baby I was laid off from a job I thought I'd have for a long time. I then got in a car accident on my due date and almost had an emergency C-section because of it, but my sweet girl stayed in for another eight days before making her debut. A sudden job loss and potentially dangerous accident seemed big and overwhelming then, but what really changed was my life after giving birth.

I call my daughters my angels because they saved me in many ways. They made me more kind, more patient, more focused. Feeding Littles wouldn't exist if I never became a mom. I wouldn't know so many wonderful humans - including Judy - if I never began this journey almost 5 years ago. As much as I hope to influence my children, I will always tell them how much they have changed my life for the better.

In celebration of the big "five," Judy and I wanted to share some of the lessons motherhood has taught us. You see, the reason I love Judy so much is that not only is she a brilliant practitioner, she is also a wise mama. Her children are in their twenties (and are amazing humans themselves), so she shares a perspective about life on the other side of childhood. Of course, she's very close with her kids and is still actively involved in their lives, but she has had the benefit of seeing them through middle school, teenage years, and the ups and downs of college life. Perspective is helpful when you're in the thick of mothering young children, and that's why I love that she will share some of her wisdom about motherhood now that she has been doing it for a while.

If you're reading this and you're struggling to get pregnant or create the family you hope to have, please know that you are not alone and that we know this is a sensitive, lonely topic for many. We share these lessons about motherhood for everyone, not just for people who describe themselves as moms, and we pray that you find peace and resolution on your journey.

Judy's Lessons

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Judy's kids (a boy and girl) are two years apart and are now in their early twenties. Judy also works with about 30 families a week in their homes doing feeding therapy, so she gets to know many new moms each month. 
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  1. Be a present parent. Engage and enjoy each available moment. Model today what you would like to see when your child is a teenager (or even middle schooler). Cell phones and mobile devices were not what they are today when our kids were younger. I cannot imagine the challenges parents are faced today with the constant distractions. Remember, your kids are learning and will imitate what they see us doing.
  2. The best conversations you will have with your child are when you are driving...even when they are doing the driving! I always felt that once the kids were able to talk in simple phrases the car was a wonderful place for us to connect. Even to this day, a road trip or just a trip to the hiking trail inspires stimulating conversations with our kids. Bottom line… look for the unexpected time to connect.
  3. Trust your gut over anyone else when it comes to your child. You know your child best. Trust that inner voice over any advice or recommendations that don't sit well with you.
  4. Have a plan B when the nest is empty! This is all about you! Some of the best advice I ever got was to prepare early for when your children leave home.
  5. Keep girlfriends (including girl nights out and trips with girlfriends) sacred. I grew up in Chicago, attended school in Tacoma, and lived in various places across the US. I have collected friends along the way and hold their relationships as absolutely sacred. Plan get togethers and reunions - even if it starts with play dates of kids and moms - so that you can spend time with the friends you hold dear. Once while on the shores of Lake Michigan, soaking the sunshine rays with kids and my bestie Kathy, we spoke of a trip to Paris with the girls. Well, it took over 12 years before the dream came true, but it was fabulous!
  6. You and your spouse may not always agree on parenting, but do your best NEVER to disagree with the spouse in front of your children. Your children will pick up on this difference of opinion quickly.  Parenting  is tough as it is, but when you and your spouse don’t exactly agree, it adds stress and conflict to the whole family. Read a book or two on parenting together, take classes, and spend time understanding what your child is experiencing so you can decide what kind of parents you want to be.
  7. Stay in love with your spouse. Keep your relationship fresh and try not to get lost in the kid shuffle. Plan date nights after the kids go to bed, like a romantic night alone with your favorite foot rub, wine, or whatever gets you and your spouse to re connect without the kids. We are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this year… can you say Bora Bora????
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Megan's Lessons

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My girls are 2.5 years apart and already have very unique, strong personalities. I grew up with a sister and am excited to see how their relationship develops and changes as they get older. I am lucky to get to work with many new moms and want to share some lessons that came hard for me, especially about new motherhood.  (Judy and I have some similar themes in our words of wisdom!)

  1. You know your child better than anyone else. With all of the information available to new parents, many new moms feel like the world is judging them. There are so many decisions to make, and sometimes it feels like we are getting it all wrong. I remember feeling insanely insecure about everything I did, even though I am still glad I made the decisions I made about feeding, diapering, sleep, and what kind of mom I wanted to be. I don't know where that insecurity came from, but I felt like everyone around me was questioning my choices (they weren't). Remember this; you are the expert in your own child. You are her greatest advocate, and you know what's best for her. You will make the best choice in the moment, and if you change your mind, that's great too. 
  2. It's OK to ask for help. You don't have to take on everything about motherhood by yourself. Issues breastfeeding? Hire an IBCLC - it will be the best money you can buy. Feeling not yourself after baby? Talk to someone who can help you understand your new life and emotions. Sometimes talk therapy or medication can literally transform your experience with motherhood. Need a friend to make you a meal or just come over and hold your baby so you can...not hold the baby? Ask someone! Many other women want to help but sometimes don't know how. Get comfortable asking for help.
  3. Your relationship with your partner will change. The biggest issue I see new moms deal with is in their relationship. Having a baby changes everything about a woman's life, but for many partners their day-to-day is not considerably altered, especially if they go right back to work and spend a lot of hours at the office. It can be compounded by breastfeeding, as oftentimes mom is the only one who can feed the baby and feels the weight of that responsibility. The discrepancy between partners can be alienating for new moms since they feel like their world was turned upside down but their partner's seemingly hasn't changed. Talk about this. Talk about your frustrations, anxieties, and what your day looks like. Acknowledge that the adjustment is hard and that you want to tackle it together, even if you don't have the solutions just yet. Give your partner a chance to express their feelings about your new life, and take them up on an offer to take care of the baby while you go shopping alone or grab a drink with friends. You'll find your new groove as a couple. Try to find it together.
  4. You may lose yourself in motherhood, but you will find a new you along the way. I remember going out on a date when my first was 3 weeks old. I literally could think about nothing but my baby. My brain was hard-wired to have my thoughts always on her, as if my postpartum hormones forced me to place her above everything else. As you can imagine, this temporarily affected my marriage, my friendships, and how I viewed the world in general. Eventually I came out of my "mommy" haze and found myself again...although my new "me" was completely different than before. A baby changes you, but change isn't always a bad thing. I love my life compared to before I had kids, but it took me a while to adjust to it. Do what you need to do to find happiness in the balance of the many hats you wear, not just the "mom" hat.
  5. Everyone has mom guilt. Everyone. I work from home and am a stay-at-home mom, all in one. I seem to have the "best scenario" work-wise, but I always feel guilty about something. Guess what? EVERY MOM FEELS GUILTY. We all do, no matter our situation. I've decided that as long as my kids are cherished, happy and safe, I'm doing exactly what I should be doing.
  6. Take more pictures, take more videos, but also put your phone down and really connect with your kids every day.​ Notice them. Secretly watch them sing and dance in the car using your rear view mirror. Pay attention to them when they're trying to show you something. Get in the sand at the park, down on the floor at the library. Be silly. Embarrass yourself. Your kids will only tolerate silliness for so long. You will never regret the fun memories you make with them. 

We wish you joy in the craziness of motherhood. Thank you for letting us share our thoughts. Don't forget to share yours below or on Instagram or Facebook! 
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The Pincer Grasp is NOT a Prerequisite to Starting Solid Foods

1/17/2018

 
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Many modern moms (and dads) rely on Facebook support groups for information about all things parenting - feeding, behavior, development, potty training, and even car seat safety. With the influx of resources comes an overload of information, including "rules" or "guidelines" that sometimes aren't based in evidence. One such example that has been floating around the interwebs is the idea that baby "should be developing a pincer grasp" to be ready for solids.

This is simply untrue. A baby does not have to have mastered, or be developing, a pincer grasp to be ready for solid foods.

What's more, a baby may develop an "emerging" pincer grasp early, but a true pincer grasp takes an extraordinary amount of fine motor skill on baby's part. It does not fully refine in most cases until 10-12 months. We can't wait until a true pincer grasp is mastered before offering food because we would be waiting too long. 
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This "pincer grasp" guideline found in circulating memes and graphics is not documented by any major medical group or health organization. To our knowledge, there is no data to connect this skill to baby's readiness for solid foods.

Does a pincer grasp help baby eat small pieces? Absolutely. Is it helpful when baby can do it? Totally! Is it an important developmental skill? Yes! However, baby can still pick up larger pieces of foods, usually the shape of a strip or stick, around 6 months. 

Before we go any further, let's officially define a pincer grasp. The pincer grasp is when baby touches just the end of their index finger to just the end of their thumb to form a circle in her fingers. Many of the grasps that babies use as they develop a pincer grasp allow them to pick up smaller foods, but they're not technically a perfect pincer until just the index and thumb touch at the ends. Since this is a sophisticated grasp/skill that takes months for babies to develop, it's something that should not be a pre-requisite to giving food. 

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We of course want baby to begin to develop her pincer grasp so she can pick up peas, quartered grapes, beans, and rice, but don't be discouraged if your six-month-old (or even your nine-month-old!) hasn't mastered this skill. It is normal. Remember, a true pincer grasp does not emerge in most babies until 10-12 months.

So, how can you best help your baby develop pincer grasp and fine motor skills in general? Like most things developmental, specific skills build on one another in infancy and childhood. We want to promote baby's skills early on and foster fine motor development so that baby is ready for eating all shapes of food, coloring, and eventually writing later in life.

No matter the age of your baby, you can do simple activities that help her eventually develop pincer grasp and more mature hand movement. Here are some developmental expectations and ways to help your baby with fine motor development, starting at birth. Remember, all babies develop a little differently, so contact your pediatrician if you're concerned about your baby's progress.

Newborn
Skills:
  • Strong grasp reflex.
  • Hands may open as you stretch out their elbows.

Family Activities:
  1. Touch and massage of both sides of baby's hands, rub with a soft cloth to teach her the safe meaning of touch from another person.
  2. Gently stroke the back of your child’s hand to stimulate a reflex that helps babies uncurl her fingers. The sooner babies open up their fingers, the sooner hand play begins.
  3. Avoid use of infant mittens, as this can slow down hand to face, hand to mouth development. I know many parents use mittens to prevent facial scratching due to how fast nails grow, but remember your baby was sucking on their fingers during pregnancy. She uses that sucking activity to calm and regulate her heart and breathing skills. Allow her to self-regulate using sucking.
 
1-2 Months
Skills:
  • Grasp reflex continues.
  • Baby can hold an object in their hand briefly if you place it there.
  • Baby is grabbing for blanket - the action of scratching increases and more opening and closing of the hands is seen.

Family Activities:
  1. Place Bright Starts Lots of Links “baby rings” inside of the infants’ hand. Allow her to hold a variety of other toys that encourage touching textures and shapes for the development of the hand and the palmer creases.
  2. Place your finger within your baby's hand and allow her to squeeze and release. This is a great exercise for improve baby's awareness of her palms and fingers. 
  3. Keep doing tummy time, chest to chest, and encouraging hands onto the floor or onto parent’s chests for hand development skills.
 
3-5 Months
Skills:
  • Uses fingers in a grasp without thumb involvement - this can begin as early as three months old.
  • The grasp reflex disappears and is replaced by what is called “sustained voluntary grasp.”
  • Tiny hands begin to accommodate to the shape of an object.
  • Sensory tactile awareness within the hand/palm develops.
  • Early transfer skills are seen.
 
Family Activities:
  1. Practice placing a variety of safe and developmentally-appropriate toys into your baby's palm and watch as the middle finger (which is the strongest, followed by the ring and little fingers) maintains a grasp briefly. Release is then involuntary.
  2. Practice stimulating the grasp and release skills with soft plush toys, plastic or wooden toys, and my favorite toy for use at this stage - the Skwish.
  3. While in tummy time, which is critical at this age, baby's palms and fingers are pressing onto the floor and hands are opening, closing and getting stronger in this position.
 
6 Months

We recommend starting complementary foods around 6 months and when baby is showing readiness signs, including independent sitting on the floor. Follow your baby’s development and challenge her to do a more complicated food as she demonstrates readiness signs, including practicing with more refined grasps. Your baby may start out a feeding with great excitement but can get messier and more frustrated as the meal progresses, since she might tire and fatigue easily. As your baby becomes a toddler, it is normal for her to start the meal without much mess, using utensils or pincer grasp, but she might revert to what I call “cave man style” eating - shoveling it in and getting messy - as she fills her belly. 

Skills:
  • Baby has consistent palmar grasp (fingers are flexed and thumb is still within the palm). She can hold an object and shake and bang it!
  • Fine motor skills at this time can vary depending on how strong your baby's trunk and postural strength may be.
  • If the baby is lying on her back with support through the trunk, she may be able to easily transfer and object from hand to hand. This is an easier position for baby because her back muscles are supported and stronger in this position versus when seated.
  • The “radial-palmar grasp” emerges. This is when the little finger part of the palm is initiating the grasp, and the thumb is in a hitch hiker position. However, baby most likely has not yet acquired a pincer grasp.
 
Family Activities:
  1. Encourage transferring toys from hand to hand. Offer baby one toy after another and watch how her hands are just joyous in learning about and adapting to the shape of a new toy.
  2. Encourage as much tummy time as possible. Pushing baby's palms down on the floor helps to strengthen her fine motor skills as she grows.

Food:
  1. Grasping for open cups, spoons and finger-foods are noted here. Baby wants to already be independent! Because baby does not know how to control their arms and grasp yet, if placed into high chair will throw everything. This is normal and expected for this age.
  2. Help baby drink from small cups including an open cup or Doidy cup. Introduce straw cups (Mr. Juice Bear, Zoli Bot cup, Lolla cup, and Munchkin cup).
  3. Start self-feeding (BLW) or spoon-feeding (Traditional Weaning) now.
  4. Encourage messy play.
  5. Types of foods to offer: long single finger shaped foods including: broccoli stems, French toast with peanut butter, waffle strips, avocado strips, banana strips, mango, sweet potato strips, soft meat or egg strips, softened vegetables.
  6. Introduce a loaded spoon now, but do not expect them to load it by themselves quite yet.
  7. Remember to eat with your child! Imitate!
 
7-9 Months
Skills:
  • Baby develops increased grip strength.
  • Baby masters the radial-palmar grasp
  • Baby is developing the radial-digital grasp (the use of an opposed thumb and finger tips), but this is still not a pincer grasp!
  • Baby begins to point and develops a pinch.
  • Baby is beginning to release objects into containers and loves to play dump and fill games.
 
Food:
  1. Continue with Baby Led Weaning - self-feeding, messy play, and practicing hand-to-mouth.
  2. Spoon feeding? Use a “Nuk “brush and or “Fluxy” oral motor toy for hand to mouth skills.
  3. Types of foods to offer: practice more dipping where the child’s hand is gripping something, like a steamed carrot of piece of cooked broccoli, and demonstrate dipping into yogurt/hummus/cream cheese mixed with nut butters.
  4. Progress to two-finger thickness sized foods, add more shapes in complexities for practicing grasping. Remember to add a bread crumb coating to slippery foods to help these developing fingers and palms not get too frustrated. Offer things that encourage more crumbs from muffins, banana and zucchini breads and ground meats and mashed potatoes to help foods stick together in their hands.
  5. Imitate eating with your child and eat with them often.​
The 7.5-month-old below is practicing his emerging pincer grasp with great attention. Even though he won't refine it for a few months, he's trying to slide his fingers together. Offering some smaller foods with larger pieces helps challenge your baby for the next developmental step.
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10-12 Months
Skills: 
  • The pincer grasp begins to emerge around 10 months (the ability to pick up a cracker).
  • Finger-tip pinch finally begins at 12 months (the ability to hold a Cheerio).
  • Your baby is beginning to use one hand to hold something and the opposite hand to operate the toy. This is the beginning of bimanual dexterity (think of removing a lid from a cream cheese container - one hand holds while the other hand pulls off the top). This is an important skill for cutting food, and eventually using scissors when older.
  • Baby's hands are learning how to push, pull, and squeeze, and wrists are learning to rotate.
 
Family Activities:
  1. Encourage removing socks and untying shoes.
  2. Practice hair brush and combing skills.
  3. To help refine pincer, offer beans or peas in an ice cube tray (one small piece of food in each pocket of the tray).

Food:
  1. Let baby self-feed and use cups. 
  2. Offer spoons and NumNum GOOtensils for self-feeding with utensils.
  3. Types of foods to offer: dried cereal, beans and lentils, cheese cubes, fresh fruits sliced and diced (this will help them practice picking up foods with new skills).
  4. Allow your baby to practice with loaded spoons and forks.
  5. Babies can enjoy most table food at this stage. Watch your baby and avoid offering choking hazards (whole nuts, uncut grapes/cherries, popcorn, chips, hard candy, gum) until 4 years old.
  6. Encourage thick soup and or smoothies from a straw or loaded spoon.
  7. Practice good behaviors around food - encourage baby to keep food on the tray and praise them when they do so. Ignore throwing instead of scolding, as baby may like the attention given to throwing. Sometimes throwing is baby telling you she's done with the meal.
  8. Be your child’s speed bump and slow her down when needed. Too much food on the tray can cause frustration, overwhelm, throwing and overstuffing. 
  9. Lastly, eat with your baby, imitate good habits - she is watching and learning.​​

Below is a video of an 11-month-old working on refining her pincer grasp. Notice how she still uses the middle finger with her index finger and thumb and reverts back to a more whole-hand grasp as well. With practice, she will use her true pincer grasp more and more!
Here's a video of a 12-month-old rockin' her pincer grasp:
Notice how this sweet baby (10 months) is focusing very hard on using his index and forefinger. As babies get older, their grasps get more specific and refined.
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This 11-month-old is practicing her pincer as well.
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This 14-month-old can use her pincer grasp to pick up a small pea. It takes a lot of practice to handle such small foods! 
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Baby Lou, one of our BLW online course models (now 14 months), is going in for some beans with his pincer grasp.
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Once a baby has a pincer grasp it is recommended to offer baby a wide variety of shapes and sizes of food. Remember, just because a child has a pincer grasp does not mean she will use it for every food. Encourage easier pick up of foods by sprinkling crumbs onto a slippery food item for better grip.

By 12 months, most babies will still prefer larger pieces of foods cut into long finger-shaped sizes instead of small bites sized pieces, but some may like to practice their pincer grasp over and over. Offer all safe sizes of food so that your baby can practice multiple skills. Eventually your baby will learn to load spoons and forks with food too! ​
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Starting Solids: The Importance of Sitting Unassisted

1/11/2018

 
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Sitting with minimal assistance is one of the most important readiness signs for feeding solids. For many babies, unassisted sitting happens around 6 months, which is also when we think the gut and immune system are most ready for complementary foods. (Note: this guideline refers to all "solids," including pureed foods or "baby food.") 

Why is sitting unassisted so important? First and foremost, we want your baby to be safe, and if he isn't sitting well with good trunk control his airway may be compromised. However, there's even more to sitting than safety. Gross motor skills, including postural support and sitting, are precursors to good feeding skills. Our bodies have to be in good alignment for our hands and mouth to work optimally. Postural control and gross motor function greatly influence your child's ability to coordinate feeding skills, like bringing food to mouth and chewing. Interesting, right?
 
My first job as an Occupational Therapist was at La Rabida Children’s Hospital in Chicago, where I was fortunate enough to have Regi Boehme, OTR, as a regular mentor to our clinic. Regi was a gifted Occupational Therapist who created Boehme Workshops for Therapists (www.boehmeworkshops.com). Regi taught us that everything we ever need at the mouth (feeding, swallowing, and speech) originates from the hips. In her memory, I write this for parents to better understand why sitting skills are an imperative precursor to feeding..

I will always remember Regi saying this phrase: 
“Stability at the hips will follow at the lips."
 
Thus, for your baby's best success at feeding, wait until he is sitting unassisted on the floor before offering any food. Sitting propped in a Bumbo is not the same as unassisted sitting on the floor, and use of these propping chairs actually doesn't help develop sitting skills. (Read on for help teaching your baby to sit.) 

Interestingly, your baby's developmental milestones build on one another in helping him learn to sit and eat food.  Below are some common milestone guidelines for the first half of infancy. Remember, all babies develop at their own pace, so your baby may not be on this exact timeline. Discuss any developmental concerns you may have with your pediatrician.

Gross- and Fine-Motor Skill Developmental Milestones:
 
1-2 months:
  • Displays jerky hand movements
  • Hands are fisted and may bring one hand to mouth
  • Lifts head while on tummy briefly
  • Moves head side to side while on tummy
  • Brings hands to midline while on their back
 
3-4 months:
  • Able to pick up their head while lying on stomach
  • Stretch out legs and kick them while on their back
  • Grasps with palm and shakes toys
  • Holds up head in supported sitting
  • Can open hands and bring them to the midline of the body
  • Clasps hands and starts to can grasp toys on purpose
 
5-6 months:
  • Can move their head from side to side while sitting
  • Sits by leaning on hands
  • Beginning to weight bear thru their legs
  • Opens hands more and straightens out fingers
  • Reaches for and grasps objects
  • Can drop a toy and pick it up
  • Likes to bang objects on tables, repeatedly (fun, right?)
  • Begins transferring objects from hand to hand
  • Can hold their own bottle
  • May begin to push up to all fours from tummy
  • May begin to rock back and forth on hands and knees
  • Lunges forward and reaches while in a sitting position without losing balance
 
Think about development of your baby in these terms:

Head control, trunk control, stability and alignment are all essential for motor control and coordination of the jaw, tongue and lips. In other words, for the mouth to work effectively, your baby's body must have stability, alignment and control. This coordination allows baby to learn to feed herself, and strengthening of these muscles and reflexes eventually leads to speech development! 

Another way to think about it:
Development is a “delicate balance between stability and mobility” (Morris 1987). All the pieces falling into place allows your baby to become a walking, talking, self-feeding child.
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So, when you're preparing your child for food, it is essential that he is learning to sit. It is not worth starting early (before 6 months) if baby doesn't have the stability and trunk control for sitting. In fact, when we work with children who haven't mastered sitting, they tend to have uncoordinated hand and mouth movements and don't seem to understand what to do with food. Sitting is a precursor to successful feeding for a reason.

How can I teach my baby to sit?

Just like every other skill, practice makes perfect! Practice sitting on a carpet or soft flooring multiple times a day as early as 4 months. Place a toy or small drum between baby's legs to give him something on which to focus. Put a Boppy or other pillow around his back in case he falls, and watch closely until he is really steady in case he falls over. If you don't want to use a pillow, place your hand around his torso or on his back until he gets stronger.  
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How long does my baby need to sit on the floor to be sitting "well enough" for solids?

Baby shouldn't immediately topple over when placed on the floor. If baby can sit unassisted for at least 20-30 seconds on the floor, try a high chair. Ensure that baby doesn't lean in the high chair or doesn't seem floppy or uncoordinated. 

How do I know if my child's in a good position in his feeding chair?


Briefly check your baby's postural control and trunk stability the first time you put him in a feeding chair. How does he look? Is there anything you can do to add more support to the chair to make him more in control to reach his food? If so, add support and see if it makes a difference (see below for ideas). Some babies don't like sitting in a high chair because they feel uncomfortable or unsteady. 

What if my child seems unsteady or uncomfortable in a high chair, even though he can sit on the floor unassisted?

Sometimes your baby can sit well on the floor but over time starts to lean once placed in a high chair for a prolonged period. This may be the result of a very big chair without much support, including the lack of a footrest. You may notice that your baby seems uneven, floppy or uncoordinated, even though he can sit on the floor for a while without fatiguing. 

To remedy this:
  • Add some additional support like a rolled up towel, flat pillow or chair insert behind baby's back.
  • Use rolled up towels or receiving blankets on either side of baby if he tends to lean.
  • Add a foot rest to baby's feet if his legs are long enough to hang over the edge. This is important for toddlers as well! If needed, use a box of tissues duct taped to a stable surface as a foot rest. Once your baby has strong footing, it's easier for him to sit up straight and with control in a high chair.

Below are some examples of my infant and toddler clients (and their siblings) in their feeding chairs. Sometimes baby's legs aren't long enough to hang off the edge of a chair, but once they are you may be able to add additional support for a foot rest. Use of back support or rolled up towels can help baby from leaning.
Before foot rest is added:
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Pool noodle as a foot rest:
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Before foot rest:
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Footrest added:
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Toddler with feet on a cushion: 
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Toddler with great feeding positioning in a BABYBJORN chair.
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Back and side support with rolled-up towels:
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​If my baby is showing readiness signs for food, including sitting unassisted before 6 months, should I give him food?

This one is up to you. We still think that "around 6 months" is the average ideal time to offer food to babies given their digestive system and immune system development. Does something happen the moment your baby turns 6 months old? No. Use your parent judgment - try to wait til around 6 months, but if baby is showing all of the readiness skills by 5 months or 5.5 months, it's up to you whether or not you want to start. As you know by now, sitting is a major precursor to feeding, and most babies aren't sitting unassisted until closer to 6 months - everything starts falling into place around then! 

There's no harm to waiting until 6 months, and you can give baby frozen breast milk or formula popsicles at mealtime in the interim. Note: many promotors of BLW say that baby should not get any food until exactly 6 months, but guidelines are based on averages and means. Some babies will be ready a little earlier, some will be ready a little later. "Around 6 months" is the technical guideline.

What if my baby isn't sitting unassisted by 6 months?

Keep working on it! Sometimes babies just need more practice. Include plenty of tummy time in your baby's day, and work on sitting multiple times a day. Don't forget to make it fun! Your baby will pick up on your stress.

If baby isn't sitting by 7 months, talk to your doctor. Additionally, if your baby has any developmental delays or medical issues, talk to your therapy team about safety and readiness signs for solids. We don't want to wait too long for solids, as we miss a critical allergenic, digestive, and developmental window.

So remember...when you get your baby's hips aligned, his lips (and mouth and tongue) will be more ready for food!
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    Authors

    Megan and Judy, co-owners of Feeding Littles, bring you helpful info on food, nutrition, picky eating, and feeding young children. Megan McNamee MPH, RDN is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist based in Scottsdale, Arizona. Judy Delaware, OTR/L is an Occupational Therapist specializing in feeding therapy with children 3 and under in Boulder, Colorado. Megan and Judy are both moms of two and love helping families develop a healthy appetite for all foods! 

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