Thanksgiving is a time to gather family and friends and share a delicious meal. You envision a table full of loved ones - or perhaps just your small family - and enjoying favorite dishes from recipes that have been passed down for generations.
Unfortunately, it's not always how Thanksgiving works. For parents with picky eaters, Thanksgiving may be stressful as you anticipate comments what family members will say about your kid's eating habits (and what they imply about your parenting). Perhaps you're doing Baby-led Weaning (infant self-feeding) and you worry that loved ones will not understand how your baby is eating. The sights and the aroma’s might be completely delicious to adults, but for many children, especially picky eaters or children with special needs or allergies, this special meal can cause stress to the whole family.
Remember, flexibility is important with all things, especially children and holidays.
We've laid out some strategies for keeping Thanksgiving fun and low-stress with your BLW baby or selective toddler.
Tips for self-feeding babies.
Tips for selective eaters.
If your child has known food allergies, make sure to inform your host ahead of time. Always ask for ingredients in foods you didn't make, and consider bringing allergy-friendly Thanksgiving dishes your child can enjoy so they can be part of the celebration.
Have you noticed that your kiddo gravitates toward crackers, veggie straws, and all foods crunchy? Why does he love these crunchy foods, and how can we use his preference for crunch to improve his eating over time?
Judy here - I want to share a bit of my feeding therapy world with you.
Consider the crunch and texture of foods like croutons and cereal. What about this texture makes it irresistible?
Your toddler may find that crunch gives them the jaw resistance that teaches their mouths where the food is located. He learns that when he feels this crunch, it feels good inside his mouth, and because of this he learns to seek out crunchy foods more often. Not only does it teach his mouth where the food is located and awareness of what is happening between his teeth (or gums), but it also may feel great to a teething toddler.
As your baby and toddler experiences this jaw resistance that they practice in early chewing and biting, he seeks to repeat this feeling because it gives him positive sensory feedback. Whenever our sensory system experiences positive feedback, something our body enjoys, we want to repeat it! Over time, young children develop a sensory preference for this crunchy texture.
Think about the other types of sensory feedback your child receives when he hears the sound of his teeth crunching a veggie straw. His proprioceptive system is also hard at work - this system is the "GPS" of his body, the "positional sense" that allows him to know where his body parts are located as he moves and how much pressure or force his body needs to use to perform different tasks. Well, the proprioceptive sense is receiving input from the up and down movement of his mouth and the pressure needed to chew the crunchy food. His sense of taste also notices the saltiness and palatability that many crunchy foods have. Want to learn more about sensory processing? Check out this interesting article!
Biting, gnawing and hard chewing with resistance are a preferred exercise for babies. Not only does it help soothe teething spots, but it also gives them great sensory input through their gums. It is normal for your baby and young child to prefer things with crunch because it feels good!
To think of it another way, consider the foods you choose when you are craving something. Do you crave sweet? Salty? Crunchy? Smooth? Now, ask yourself this: "Why did I choose this food, and does it satisfy something sensory for me?" Does it help you self-regulate? Does it calm you, or wake you up?
Many of us use chewing gum or chewy/crunchy food to help ourselves focus or manage stress. Your sensory system guides your food choices more than you may realize.
Habits in our mouths start early in life, and we learn to choose these specific foods for the same reason your child prefers them, too.
Not surprisingly, as an OT specializing in feeding I get this question often: “My child loves only crunchy foods. How do I progress him off crunchy foods?”
This is a little question with a big answer.
If your child seems to prefer crunchy, follow the tips below, based on his age.
Babies 6 - 9 months:
Older babies and toddlers/children (10+ months):
As always, try to not make a big deal out of what your child is or isn’t eating. Instead, have fun with food, cook and shop together, and enjoy the art of play in all aspects of parenting as best you can.
Still need help? Our Toddler Course lays out a specific step-by-step plan for reversing or preventing picky eating utilizing feeding therapy and nutrition therapy strategies. Let us help your family make mealtime fun again!
Feeding a baby or toddler can seem very overwhelming. There are so many routes to take, potential products to buy, things to consider. In a time when parents are bombarded with too much information, choosing the right approach for introducing solids may be more overwhelming than ever.
Our followers know that while we love the Baby-led Weaning (infant self-feeding) developmental approach (and even have an online course all about it), we also support all families on their feeding journey and recognize that what works for some doesn’t work for all. Yes, we work with families who spoon feed and love to help them make that a positive experience. No, we don’t think spoon feeding is unnecessary for some families, nor do we think that there’s one right way to feed a baby. Ultimately, we want feeding to be a positive experience where the caregiver follows the baby’s lead. We also want the caregiver to have positive feelings about the feeding experience, since babies can pick up on anxiety surrounding mealtime.
Eventually, the goal for every baby (barring health or medical issues) is independent, safe self-feeding. This may happen at a different rate for each baby. We’ve seen some confusion about how long to spoon feed, transitioning from spoon feeding to self-feeding, if food before one is even important, and other feeding fiction over the last few months in our Feeding Littles Group on Facebook. We want to set the record straight from a nutritional and developmental perspective on a few key feeding issues.
1. There are essentially two main approaches to infant feeding - Baby-led Weaning (infant self-feeding) and traditional feeding (sometimes referred to as Traditional Weaning). While the approaches seem different, the eventual goal for both BLW and traditional feeding is self-feeding all safe textures.
Baby-led Weaning is defined by babies feeding themselves whole foods (not exclusively purees) from the start. These foods are offered in the shape of a stick or strip because 6-month-olds usually lack the pincer grasp and cannot pick up a small piece of food. However, many parents are nervous about babies eating textures like avocado, banana, cooked sweet potato, or softly cooked chicken, so a modified approach may work better for these families. Offering pureed or mashed food on loaded NumNum GOOtensils (or dumping a puree on baby’s tray!) can be a good way to start letting your baby feed herself a texture that makes you feel more comfortable. Once you see her maneuver the food in her mouth, you may be willing to offer her other foods. Learn more about smart spoon feeding here.
2. Anything that’s not breast milk or formula is considered a “solid” or a “complementary food,” and we don’t recommend offering these foods until baby is ready.
Some parents confuse the guidance on offering complementary foods because they assume that pureed food is not a “solid.” Recommendations to wait until around 6 months for solids apply to feeding your baby any type of food that isn’t breast milk or formula. In assessing readiness, keep in mind that sitting with minimal assistance is key. For most babies, this is around 6ish months. Read more about developmental milestones for solid readiness here.
3. Food before one is not just for fun.
In fact, introduction of food in the second half of infancy is extremely important for a variety of reasons. The term “food before one is just for fun” sounds catchy and has gained in popularity since the BLW movement has gained momentum, but the unfortunate reality of this phrase is that some parents take it to mean that food has no importance before one and breast milk is all a baby needs. Some “crunchy” circles consider it best to not give baby any food except breast milk until 1, which can set baby up for a host of developmental, allergenic and nutritional issues.
Yes, breast milk or formula fulfills the majority of baby’s nutritional needs in infancy, but at or around 6 months of age baby needs some iron and zinc from food. Allergenic foods are important to introduce by around 6 months as long as baby does not have a high allergy risk (parent with an allergy or eczema/other allergic condition – if this applies, talk to your doc). If you skip offering food until 1 year of age, you may potentially miss a key allergen window. Plus, babies who don’t have exposure to various food textures by around 9 months run the risk of feeding issues later in life. They also miss exposure to a variety of flavors and may be less likely to accept strong flavors as they get older. We work with toddlers who have struggled to accept new textures and flavors for a variety of reasons, including lack of exposure in infancy, and it can be tough on the entire family. Of course, sometimes kiddos end up in feeding therapy or nutritional counseling for many reasons out of a parent’s control, but not offering food to babies after around 6 months of age and letting them play, explore, taste, chew and learn about food is a concerning trend in the parenting world.
Above all of these reasons, we encourage parents to watch their baby’s cues and to follow their lead with feeding. Many babies are interested in food as they approach 6 months of age. Not letting them eat food of any kind until 12 months hinders their natural interest in the world around them and doesn’t let them model what they see adults and other children do every day – eat food! They also miss out on the social and language-building element of eating together. Yes, we need to wait until baby is ready for food, but waiting much past 6-7 months doesn’t give your baby some sort of advantage (barring medical issues); it may prevent him from being the eater he’s meant to be.
This phrase may also be taken to mean that food introduction can be casual. We strongly support keeping mealtimes fun and low stress and not worrying if baby misses a food meal due to teething or illness, but we've seen in time and time again that babies who get more practice with food are more skilled, successful eaters.
4. Make sure baby can pick up the size food you offer.
This is especially important in Baby-led Weaning, where baby feeds herself from the start. Since 6-month-olds lack a pincer grasp, offering diced up food can make them frustrated. As your baby becomes a more skilled self-feeder, she can handle smaller pieces of food.
5. It’s important to follow your baby’s lead.
Some parents become frustrated when their spoon-fed baby starts grabbing for the spoon. Remember, we want all babies to eventually self-feed, so this is a great first step! Offer her the spoon (or a NumNum GOOtensil) loaded with some mashed or pureed food, and try some soft finger foods like avocado or banana spears, softly cooked chicken, or cooked sweet potato spears after that.
6. If you have decided to spoon feed your baby, we recommend encouraging independent self-feeding by no later than 14-16 months.
Of course, if your baby has developmental or medical issues, this may not be the case. Some parents love spoon feeding their baby and enjoy making baby food. If that works for you, great! Spoon feeding is not meant to be forever, and the term “traditional weaning” doesn’t mean that baby is always fed by his parents. That’s why technically you don’t “switch” from traditional weaning to BLW – inherent in traditional weaning is the idea that your baby eventually self-feeds.
Even though it’s a messy process, let your baby and toddler feed himself a variety of foods. Regularly putting food in your toddler’s mouth and not letting him try it himself prevents him from developing the skills needed to self-feed. It can also lead to distracted eating or overeating and a host of other feeding issues.
7. You do not have to wait 2 weeks between spoon feeding a baby and giving her finger foods.
The myth that there should be a “rest period” after stopping spoon feeding and before letting your baby self-feed whole foods has been flying around BLW boards for years, and it’s simply not backed by science. The theory behind this “guideline” is that when babies go from being fed a puree to putting foods in their own mouths, they are more likely to choke because they will swallow the food without chewing. Well, babies new to BLW who have never had any kind of food may also try to swallow without chewing - that’s what they have the protective airway mechanism that is the gag reflex. In fact, Judy uses smart spoon feeding and self-feeding other textures within the same feeding therapy session all the time. The entire premise behind BLW is that it is safe for a baby to self-feed all textures; if this 2-week “rule” were true, it wouldn’t be deemed safe to let baby self-feed yogurt, hummus and guacamole while simultaneously letting them self-feed spears of avocado or cooked broccoli.
8. Gagging is a reflex and is your baby’s way of safely protecting her airway. However, gagging should improve over time.
For many babies new to self-feeding whole foods, gagging is a common thing. It should get better with practice. If your baby continues to gag very frequently after many weeks of practicing with real foods, talk to your pediatrician. Excessive gagging can lead to a feeding aversion.
9. A choking hazard is a choking hazard for all babies, independent of feeding style.
Just because a baby starts food utilizing BLW doesn’t mean he can “handle” choking hazards better than another baby. Cut grapes, cherries, and cherry tomatoes into quarters, and remove skin or small bones from meat. Avoid popcorn, chips, gum, and hard candy until age 4. Apples and raw carrots are unexpected choking hazards; we recommend softening both or shredding before serving (until age 4).
10.You do not have to offer only vegetables if you want to raise a veggie-lover.
Fruit won’t ruin your baby. Have you ever tasted breast milk or formula? Yup, very sweet. Your baby already knows what sweetness is, and starting on just vegetables hasn’t been shown to improve his diet quality long-term. What does help foster adventurous eating is exposure to ALL foods, with lots of repetition - some babies don't like foods until they've seen them 20-30 times!
You don’t have to offer fruits with every meal, but rather make sure to have at least one veggie and/or fruit at every meal for exposure to different flavors and nutrients. Don’t forget to pair the produce with a high-iron food like beef, salmon, chicken, lentils or beans!
11. When your baby turns 1, you can offer a sugary cake – or not.
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. (Judy and I gave our kiddos real cake, for what it’s worth…and my first didn’t even touch hers!) If you want your baby to eat a Paleo cake, fruit, or a cupcake made with applesauce, great – just don’t overly stress yourself. Many, many babies don’t eat their first birthday cake – offering one is more for fun, tradition, even just photos. We've also seen funny taco, BBQ and watermelon first birthday smash photos that look just as fun if you want to try something unique.
If your baby eats some cake, he will be OK. Remember that all foods fit, and we need to teach our kiddos that it’s not a big deal to have some cake eventually. Focus on the fact that you survived your first year with baby! That calls for some cake (or champagne!) for you!
Megan and Judy, co-owners of Feeding Littles, bring you helpful info on food, nutrition, picky eating, and feeding young children. Megan McNamee MPH, RDN is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist based in Scottsdale, Arizona. Judy Delaware, OTR/L is an Occupational Therapist specializing in feeding therapy with children 3 and under in Boulder, Colorado. Megan and Judy are both moms of two and love helping families develop a healthy appetite for all foods!